Gwen arrived home a little after five o'clock. Entering the empty home forced Gwen to realize that she would forever be without Jes. She walked to Jes' room and thought about the many nights they had talked, sitting in the middle of Jes' bed in their pajamas.
Gwen smiled and
closed the bedroom door as she headed for the bathroom to draw a bath.
Gwen lit candles and burned incense as she had always done. She
poured her bubble bath into the tub and began to undress when the
phone rang. Gwen walked slowly to her bedside to answer the phone.
"Hello," Gwen spoke somberly. "Hi CJ, how did you hear about it.
They are doing what?" Gwen asked in rage as she turned on the
television. "I can't believe this, she hasn't even been dead for twenty-four
hours yet. CJ I'll have to call you back later I need to have a moment for
myself."
Gwen hung up the call with CJ and sat on her bed and cried. She
replayed her friendship with Jes over the years and tried to imagine Jes
by her side as she reminisced. She continually fought off the feeling of
loneliness as mascara filled tears raced down her face. Gwen dried her
face and continued with her plans of taking a bath. She sat back in the
hot water, rested her head on the shower wall and questioned Jes'
actions.
"What made you do this Jes?" She asked aloud. "There is nothing
worth killing yourself for," she continued. "What were you thinking," she
asked sympathetically?
Gwen took a deep breath and began to pray. She prayed for strength
and understanding to Jes' actions. Telling GOD that she awaited his
guidance and his answer to her pain. Gwen washed and dried her body
then laid in the center of her bed. After a few seconds of relaxing,
Gwen's phone rang. She contemplated answering the phone in fear of it
being another sympathy call. Following several rings she turned and
reached for the phone.
"Hello," Gwen said softly, "this is she, with whom am I speaking?"
Gwen sat up in her bed. "Brandon," she said patiently, "I really don't
have time for this right now. I'm having a rough time and I don't need
you to complicate things for me. How did you hear about it?" Gwen
asked. "Thank you for calling Brandon, but I'm not in the mood for
company. I'll talk with you later."
Gwen attempted to hang up the phone when she heard Brandon still
talking.
"Brandon, I really am not in the mood for company. I am not in the
mood to go out either. I'm not in the mood to eat either."
Gwen began to get irritated at Brandon's persistence and with his last
question she hung up with him still on the line. Gwen began to lotion
her body and thought about why she wasn't as angry with Brandon as
she had been in previous months.