Charles settled into bed next to Michelle as they prepared themselves for a night of restful sleep. Michelle reached over to turn off the remaining lamp that provided minimal lighting as Charles laid and waited with open arms for Michelle to find comfort in them. Michelle maneuvered into a comfortable position as Charles whispered in her ear that he loved them both more than anything. Michelle trembled as her conversation with Tanya surfaced in her mind. Through the night, Michelle tossed and turned as visions of Charles' pain played devils advocate. In an attempt to shake the thoughts of the night, Michelle decided to take a warm shower. She slowly and carefully got out of bed making sure not to awaken Charles.
She walked silently to the
bathroom with the closing door making the only sound. She thought as
the water ran, how she would deliver the bad news to Charles. Her first
thought was to tell him that she had a miscarriage, but after carefully
thinking through the lie, she determined that it would take too many lies
to tell that lie. Knowing that she would be forced to tell the truth, a
feeling of loneliness swept through her body causing her to shed tears as
she let the warm water beat down on her back. After 20 minutes of
attempting to build up the courage to be honest, Michelle was ready to
face the music. She turned off the shower and took a deep breath before
drying off and heading back to bed to awaken Charles.
"Baby," Michelle whispered as she softly shook Charles. "Baby, I need
to talk to you."
"Huh," Charles responded still in a deep sleep.
"Charles, I need to talk to you," Michelle said again but this time with
tears streaming down her face.
"What's wrong baby," Charles said as he sat up in bed. "Why are you
crying?"
With only the streetlights shining through the bedroom window,
Michelle began.
"Baby there is something that I need to talk to you about and as hard
as this maybe for you to understand, I need you to hear me out."
"Is there something wrong with the baby?" Charles asked.
"There is nothing wrong with the baby, but it is concerning the baby.
Please don't ask anymore questions until I am done, ok?"
Charles agreed.
"Baby, when I found out that I was pregnant, it was the most
incredible feeling in the world. As much as I love kids I thought, I'm
going to be a mother. Me, a mother, I couldn't believe it. The excitement
inside of me had me in another world. I envisioned all the things I was
going to do with my son or daughter and it made me smile so big inside.
Then the novelty wore off and reality paid me a visit. The first reality was
that I was pregnant. The second reality was that I wasn't married. The
third reality, which was the most important, was that I wasn't ready to
be a mother. My plan was to be married and be a wife for a little while. I
wanted to enjoy my husband and our time before becoming a mommy
and a wife and giving all of my time to raising a child and being a loving
and devoted wife."
As Michelle spoke, Charles listened silently.
"There were several things going through my head at that time. I
guess the only thing that really mattered was what I thought and felt. No
one else's feelings mattered. Not even yours. I had to make a decision
that was going to be best for me and that is what I did." Michelle said
with a low hanging head and visibly crying. "I made a decision that
would make my life the way that it needed to be and that would change
your life forever. That is why I say no one else's feelings mattered. When
I was making decisions for me, I never thought about us. I never
thought about how a decision for me was going to hurt or possibly
destroy us."
"Michelle," Charles broke the silence. "What are you trying to say?"
"I'm trying to tell you," Michelle hesitated. "I'm trying to tell you that
three weeks after I found out I was pregnant, I aborted the pregnancy."
"You did what?" Charles yelled.